Gaslighting Examples: Signs to Help Identify Emotional Abuse Early

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These gaslighting examples can help you understand how this form of emotional abuse works and how to catch it early on. Gaslighting can happen in relationships, at work, or even within your own family. 

At first, it may seem small, but over time, it can hurt your confidence and sense of reality.1 Throughout this article, you’ll learn the common signs of gaslighting and what to do if you experience it, including how to set boundaries, seek support, and protect your stermental well-being.

What Is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where someone makes you question your own thoughts, feelings, and memories. While gaslighting feels personal, experts argue that it’s also tied to bigger social problems. Research in the American Sociological Review suggests that gaslighting isn’t just a psychological issue; it’s connected to power and inequality. 

Many gaslighters use gender stereotypes or social advantages to control others. This is why women, people in lower-power positions, and marginalized groups often experience gaslighting more frequently.2

At its core, gaslighting is about control. The person gaslighting you wants to shift power in their favor, making you feel unsure of yourself so they can influence your decisions and emotions.

How Gaslighting Can Present in Different Types of Relationships

Gaslighting in Romantic Relationships

Researchers surveyed 65 people who had experienced gaslighting in romantic relationships. Most participants were women (48 out of 65), and their ages ranged from 18 to 69 (average age: 29). The study found that gaslighting happens in relationships that mix love and abuse over time.3

How Romantic Gaslighting Works

Gaslighting can take many forms, but here are some common examples:

  • Denial: The person insists something didn’t happen, even if you know it did.
  • Spinning the facts: They change details of past events to make you feel like you remember things wrong.
  • Blaming you: They make you feel responsible for their actions or emotions.
  • Using stereotypes against you: Sometimes, gaslighters take advantage of gender roles or social expectations to make you doubt yourself.

Victims of romantic gaslighting often:

  • Lose confidence in themselves
  • Struggle to trust others
  • Sometimes experience personal growth after leaving the relationship

Gaslighting in romantic relationships can be deeply damaging, but recognizing the signs and prioritizing your well-being are key steps toward healing and reclaiming your sense of self.

Workplace Gaslighting

Gaslighting isn’t limited to personal relationships; it can also occur in the workplace, where colleagues or supervisors manipulate you into doubting your perceptions and judgments. This form of psychological abuse can be subtle yet profoundly damaging to your confidence and professional well-being.​

Here are some common signs:

  • Denial of Previous Agreements: Your boss or coworker denies conversations or commitments made earlier, making you question your memory.​
  • Withholding Information: Essential information is deliberately kept from you, leading to mistakes for which you’re then blamed.​
  • Trivializing Your Concerns: When you express issues, they’re dismissed as overreactions or deemed unimportant.​
  • Undermining Your Work: Consistent criticism or sabotage that makes you question your abilities.​
  • Manipulating Situations: Twisting facts or events to make you appear at fault, even when evidence suggests otherwise.​

Experiencing gaslighting at work can have severe consequences:​

  • Decreased Productivity: Constant self-doubt hampers decision-making and efficiency.​
  • Increased Stress and Anxiety: The uncertainty created by gaslighting elevates stress levels, potentially leading to burnout.​
  • Erosion of Professional Relationships: Mistrust may develop between you and colleagues, affecting teamwork and collaboration.​
  • Diminished Job Satisfaction: A hostile work environment can make you feel disengaged and unhappy in your role.​

A study published in PubMed explored the effects of workplace gaslighting and mobbing on nurses’ career entrenchment. The study found that gaslighting and bullying were common at moderate levels and made nurses less committed to their jobs. This shows how harmful these behaviors can be to both careers and mental health.4

Gaslighting in Families

When a parent gaslights their child, they manipulate them into doubting their own reality. This can happen in different ways, such as denying past events, dismissing your feelings as overreactions, and shifting responsibility for their behavior onto you. 

These behaviors can deeply affect your emotional well-being. A study of 154 young adults (ages 18-35) found that those who experienced gaslighting from family members had higher anxiety levels and lower self-esteem. The more they were controlled and manipulated, the worse their mental health became.5

Gaslighting can also come from siblings, aunts, uncles, or grandparents. Some common tactics include:

  • Spreading False Narratives: A sibling tells others you are “the difficult one” to damage your reputation.
  • Guilt-Tripping: A relative makes you feel bad for setting boundaries.
  • Playing Favorites: They compare you unfairly to others to make you doubt your worth.

Gaslighting in families can be damaging, but recognizing it is the first step toward healing and regaining confidence in yourself.

What to Do If You Notice These Signs

Gaslighting doesn’t always start in obvious ways. At first, it can seem like simple misunderstandings or petty disagreements. But gradually, it can make you doubt yourself entirely.

If you observe any of these behaviors in someone close to you, trust your instincts. Here’s what you can do:

  • Validate your feelings and experiences. If something feels wrong, don’t ignore it. Pay attention to how someone’s words or actions make you feel.
  • Keep a record. Write down events so you can see patterns of manipulation.
  • Set boundaries. You don’t have to accept manipulation. If someone constantly makes you feel confused or guilty, limit your contact with them. Protecting your mental health is important.
  • Talk to someone you trust. A friend, family member, or therapist can help you see things more clearly.

Recognizing gaslighting early can help you protect yourself from this type of emotional abuse. By understanding these gaslighting examples in relationships, workplaces, and families, you can notice the warning signs and take action. If you or someone you know is experiencing gaslighting, remember that support is available. Visit oceanrockhealth.com or southcoastcounselingoc.org to find mental health resources and professional help.

Sources:

  1. Sweet, P. L. (2022). How Gaslighting Manipulates Reality. Scientific American, 327(4). https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-gaslighting-manipulates-reality/
  2. American Sociological Review 2019, Vol. 84(5) 851–875 © American Sociological Association 2019 DOI: 10.1177/0003122419874843 https://www.asanet.org/wp-content/uploads/attach/journals/oct19asrfeature.pdf
  3. Willis Benjamin Klein, Li, S., & Wood, S. (2023). A qualitative analysis of gaslighting in romantic relationships. Personal RELATIONSHIPS, 30(4). https://www.researchgate.net/publication/361098676_A_Qualitative_Analysis_of_Gaslighting_in_Romantic_Relationships
  4. El-Sayed, A. A. I., Alsenany, S. A., Atta, M. H. R., Othman, A. A., & Asal, M. G. R. (2025). Navigating Toxicity: Investigating the Interplay Between Workplace Gaslighting, Workaholism, and Agility Among Nurses. Nursing Inquiry, 32(1), e12697. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39803721/
  5. Shekhar, S., Kaushlendra, M., & Tripathi. (2024). Impact of Gaslighting on Mental Health among Young Adults. 12(2)  https://ijip.in/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/18.01.350.20241202.pdf

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